Riley and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Today I woke up and I was freezing, because my brother Tobey turned on the air conditioner to “high”. It was like winter in our room. Then on the way downstairs I tripped on some dirty laundry and fell down the steps. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
When I got downstairs, mom was leaving for work. I hate it when she goes to work, because then I have to listen to Brennan, and no one likes to listen Brennan. I don’t know why I have to listen to him anyway, because Tobey bosses me around more. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
While mom was at work, I started to feel sad and missed my dad, who is in Arizona. When I tried to call Dad, Brennan took the phone away and I had to throw animal crackers at him to get it back. It didn’t matter that I threw the crackers, because the dog ate them anyway. But Brennan still had to call Mom and tell on me. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
When mom finally got home from work I wanted to go outside and play. “I have been cooped up all day” I said. “You have to finish your chores” Mom said. I don’t know why I even have to do chores. Everything just gets messy the next day anyway. Then I snuck out and rode around the block once on my bike to get some energy. When I came back, Mom was waiting on the front porch and said “Put your bike away and go inside!” I tried to explain to her that I was just trying to get some energy so I could do my chores, but she didn’t believe me. I told her I was going to move to Arizona, and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
For dinner we had chicken quesadillas. I like chicken quesadillas, except when I askidentally spill too much salsa on them. Mom said that if I had used the spoon to get the salsa out I would not have dumped half the jar onto my plate. Mom said I would have to do my best to eat it anyway. I told her the salsa was gross, but she said “just scrape it off”. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
After dinner it was time to go to Vacation Bible School. Brennan was working as a helper there, and Mom said he would take me. When Mom went to the bathroom I decided to go for a bike ride. I guess that while I was gone, Mom & Brennan thought that I already went to church, so Mom sent Brennan over too. A little while later I rode my bike up the driveway, and Mom come running outside, totally freaked out. “Where were you?” she yelled at me. “I just rode around the block a couple times!” I yelled back. Mom explained to me that 7 year olds aren’t allowed to do that by themselves, especially without telling anyone. I wish I was 15, I said. “You’re coming with me and Tobey to baseball practice” Mom said. I hate going to Tobey’s baseball practices. I don’t even get to go to the concession stand. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
At the practice, I tried to be on my best behavior, but when Mom stood up to talk to some people, I climbed a tree. Mom said “Get down please”, but I didn’t get down. I guess Mom had to tell me too many times to get down, because after a while she really got angry. When I finally sat down in my chair, Mom smelled something and told me to stand up. Boy, was she mad when she saw that my whole butt was covered in pine sap. How was I to know that I would get sap on me if I sat on a pine branch? I asked her. Then I sat in the dirt by the fence to fix my shoe and the dirt stuck to the sap and Mom got even more angry. When I stood up my shoelace got tangled on the bottom of the chain link fence, and mom had to walk all the way around to get it unstuck. I told you I should move to Arizona, I cried. Mom says even in Arizona people have bad days.
At bedtime I couldn’t find my puppy. Everyone knows I can’t sleep without my puppy. I fell asleep during “America’s Got Talent” and missed the end, and then Brennan and Tobey were talking about it and it made me feel bad. Tomorrow will be a better day, said Mom.